Things Could Be Worse...

You guys would not believe the October I've had so far.

To start off, I got called in to Jury Duty. Yes, I was actually on a jury. Well better to get it over with I guess. I was there for the better part of a week deliberating over a Battery Against a Dating Partner. They were both shady characters and honestly none of us really knew how a case like it could have made it to trial. (Not to make light of domestic violence.) But we didn't trust either of them and it ended up being a hung jury. Not so bad, a good week before surgery taken up in an interesting way.

Then I go play hockey and decide to block a puck with my hand. Slapshot right to the palm where there's no padding to speak of. When I get home I figure it's better to check into the ER at 12am than it is the next morning so I cruise over there for an x-ray. They send me home with some Vicodin and tell me it's not broken, just needs some rest and deswelling. The next morning I take a sick day to enjoy my Vicodin on the couch and get a phone call from the radiologist. He sees a fracture and I need to go to an orthopedic. Great. I've broken my hand before and it's not super painful but being in a cast for 6 weeks is more annoying than a little brother. So I go to the ortho(pedic) and he squeezes my palm near the wrist and says, "Is this tender?" "No"I say, "it's up here by the fingers." "Have you ever injured your hand before?" he queries. "Yeah about 6 years ago I punched a wall" quoth I. (This story deserves its own telling over a couple drinks.) You guessed it. The radiologist saw the old fracture. So I'm fine and on my way.

Well whew, I made it through the week and it's Monday morning, 6am. Imagine the contentedness on my face in the middle of a cozy slumber after a busy weekend. Now imagine my heart palpitating and lungs gasping when I become jarringly awoken by my phone. My family got evacuated for the fires. They're staying with me now. Everyone is fine and the houses are ok so far but god damn if I can't get a break. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. We're native San Diegans. This ain't our first barbeque.

Oh yeah, if the fires keep going there's a chance my "elective" surgery will be postponed again.

Ack.

Two-Thirds of the Way There

I weighed in at a palpable 195 today.

I wish I was more interesting today but you'll have to deal with what I give you :)

Addicting Game Hunt

This is going to be SOOOOOO fun when I'm all drugged up.

http://www.zipperfish.com/games/miscellaneous-games/boomshine/

A Meal in the Life

I'm really surprised at how interested people have gotten in my weight-gaining endeavor. Everyone at work knows about it and asks how its going. I've even gotten a few compliments from people who aren't in the know, which is definite incentive to keep pushing. When I grabbed my new favorite snack off the lunch truck today (Vanilla Zingers) one of my good friends made a crack about treating myself lately and we got to talking about how much I actually am eating and if gorging myself was actually working. With the explanation that I was also working out religiously I think I got him to understand that yes, it actually was working. And so, along that vein, I thought I'd share with you a few examples of what I eat during the day.

WARNING: The following is not for the faint of stomach or jealous of nature.

Example #1- Breakfast- Chocolate Protein Bar
Brie and Pesto sandwich
Lunch- Grilled Cheese sandwich
Coke
Exercise- Ice Hockey Game
Dinner- Cheeseburgers (3)
Butterfinger Pie
Vanilla Protein Shake

Example #2- Breakfast- None
Lunch- Sushi- Pizza Roll, Philly Roll, Tuna Sashimi, Yellowtail Sashimi
Large Asahi
Small Sake
Exercise- None, day off
Dinner- Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster- Caesar Salad, Broccoli, one order each of Popcorn shrimp, Scampi shrimp, Buffalo shrimp, Breaded shrimp
Bar- Irish Coffee w/whipped cream
After Bar- Sourdough burger
Cheesecake slice

Granted, these are some of the more grand forays into the culinary world, but it paints the picture. To be fair to the other part of the equation this is what my exercise routine is like:

Chest Press
Bicep Curl
Tricep Extension
Lat Pulldown
Inclined Bench Press
Military Press
Squats
Leg Extension
Leg Curl
Crunches

Every other day, no lifting if I have hockey that day.

It's not a very precise or focused workout. Very general. Get everything done all around. But I haven't gotten bored yet or hit a plateau which is nice. I think being able to see progress every day (even if only by a couple pounds) keeps me motivated.

So that's what my life has been like lately. Sorry I don't have any good ortho news. Still just watching the days pass by until things get picked back up again. I get my spacers put back in October 24th so you'll have to hear about my phys ed program until then.

Packing It On

I weigh 190lbs. I weigh more today than I ever have in my life. I'm trying to gain weight before the surgery.

And I love it.

I've been trying to gain weight since high school and have always had a hard time at it. Now, for the vast majority of you who are scrunching your face and about to get all uppity with your sarcastic I-wish-I-had-that-problems and your oh-life-is-so-hard-having-a-fast-metabolism retorts this is what I have to say to you: I have no doubt in my mind it is as much effort for me to gain five pounds as it is for you to lose five pounds. Now that we've established that this is not an easy task for me let's move on.

Granted, that's not to say that it isn't without its interesting benefits. If I want to eat ice cream in the middle of the day, I do. Even if I don't want to eat ice cream in the middle of the day, sometimes I do. I had a cheeseburger and chocolate shake for breakfast the other day. But other than the decadence of it all there are other perks. I no longer hold back on ordering the food that I really want just because I'm trying to save money. I consider this an investment in my health and I don't mind shelling out a little more per week for that. Also, it forces me to workout religiously. I don't want to just gain weight, I want to gain good weight. When you're sitting around doing nothing (like I'll be soon) muscle mass disappears way before fat mass. So just skipping the salad and gorging on pop-tarts will not help me out at all. Going to the gym and using up those calories however creates nice dense muscle mass. So I'm happy about the way I look. I've also convinced myself with no scientific evidence that by being as strong as I can I'll be able to heal quicker. Can't be complete rubbish right?

The downside of all this is like any diet or workout regiment I have to stay on it. Keeping a high calorie intake is difficult when you're not used to it and sometimes you just don't feel like lifting.

I've gained about 6lbs in three weeks and would like to reach 200 by the surgery. So if you'll excuse me, I have to finish my last Zinger.

AYFKMRN?

I got a call from Veronica, my OS's assistant on Tuesday. She wanted to know if it would be ok with me if they postponed my date until November 3rd.

Seriously? Seriously. Seriously??

The way she posed this as a question struck me as odd. Especially when she explained that The Chainsaw is having some family issues that make October bad for him. Would it be ok with me? "He doesn't want you to be mad" she says.

Despite how much I tried to explain to little Veronica that I will work my life around the surgery and that whatever needed to happen will happen, she was really trolling for my approval about the whole thing. No I'm not mad at him. The man is going to chop my skull apart, I think resentment of any kind is not the path to take here. Not to mention I don't mind waiting another two weeks if it's the difference between a good procedure and one where my surgeon is half-occupied with his sick mother or brother in rehab or child with chicken-pox or whatever. I don't care. Sort your stuff out and tell me when you're on your game. Don't ask my permission or beg my forgiveness. Doesn't want me to be mad. Seriously.

So November 3rd is the new day. Still a 7:30am procedure. After it was confirmed by the hospital I called up Wonderful Jessica and my dentist to reschedule the expander and cleaning. (I was supposed to have this cleaning in August. Sheesh.)

With the new date there's a chance I won't be back to work for tech rehearsal of my next show but it's a much smaller show with a much less important director. But it'll be fine. If I were to really push myself I'd be able to get back for a couple hours a day but really I think the show will be fine. This way I'll get more time to prep on the front end anyway.

Seriously.

Face Time with The Chainsaw

I had a follow-up with Dr.Tawfilis today and while he didn't really tell me much that we hadn't already talked about it did reaffirm that I do in fact know what's going on. Not once did he mention a BSSO so I imagine someone just got a little confused or misinterpreted his notes or something like that. I asked him to explain in more detail what exactly he'd be doing in there. The words 'saw' and 'chisel' came up and despite my distaste for medical situations and discussion I actually found myself very intrigued and excited about the whole thing. He said I wouldn't actually start expanding until after one full week, twice a day. Sounds a little different than other people's treatment schedule but just like any profession doctors clearly have they own preferences on how to do things. I subtly reminded him that he'd be taking out my wisdom teeth at the same time by asking whether that would happen before or after the skull chiseling. (Before, it's hard to pull teeth with jaw pieces flapping around loose.) So that's about it. I've got all my spacer and cleaning and expander cementing appointments set up and it'll all be here before I know it.