Conflicted

Late January for those of you keeping track. And while I've chosen an ortho I'm still rather conflicted about the entire procedure. In my consultation with Dr.Styrt and some online homework of my own I've found a lot of super positive reasons to go for it. The aesthetic issue of having straight teeth has quickly become a functional issue of so many other things that are wrong with me that I've either 1) compensated for throughout my life, or 2) never knew was "wrong" in the first place. I've read that people sleep better afterwards because of a more open airway. I've always been twitchy when I sleep and I had an ex-girlfriend that constantly hounded me about getting tested for sleep apnea. I've always had trouble breathing though my nose also. Chronically sniffy or stuffed I am. Not really stuffed but when I inhale through my nose it feels like I'm breathing through a filter. I'm getting air, but it feels like I'm working too hard to get it. Like drinking a really thick milkshake through a coffee stir. Maybe not that difficult but you get the idea. Dr.Styrt said my jaw would stick out a bit more when the bite closes and I'd actually have a chin. A chin hunh? That's new. I've worn a goatee since high school and it's only been recently that I've realized it's because it gives me a sort of faux chin. I remember being asked if I ever wanted to change anything about myself (like plastic surgery) what would it be? I had a hard time coming up with anything because for the most part I've really learned to like who I am and what I look like. Ultimately I thought having a facial structure that wasn't so long might be nice. This would do just that. And of course chewing would be much easier. Do you know how hard it is to eat a sandwich with leaf lettuce in it with an open bite? I'll tell you how hard.


It's f***ing impossible.


Pizza, onion rings, and balogna sandwiches can also cause annoyance. To adapt and try not to look like a complete fool while eating I'll use my tongue to push these sorts of food up against the bottom of my top teeth. I thought it was rather clever. So all these things that, while obvious improvements on my current lifestyle, require me to admit that I have these problems and that they need fixing.

Enter cocky, proud, stubbornness. I don't want to say this is a male thing but it is most certainly a male thing in my family. We don't ask for help. We don't take charity. At gift-giving time it's usually only something functional that we ask for. "But this surgery is totally functional. You just said so yourself," you say. Well yeah but it also carries with it a vain reward of aesthetic value. Besides, I'm still alive. I've made it this far. I can eat and breathe and sleep and do a lot of things and a lot of things better than most. So why "fix" something that obviously works fine? This is the connundrum and the conflict. I feel that by admitting I need this work done I am betraying 27 years of perservering and overcoming and "being myself" and being ok, no, more than ok, with who I am. At the exact same time though, I am elated by the knowledge that all these things that have always been an issue are all related and can be solved relatively easily. So I did what any American young man would do in my situation.

I called my mom.

She gave me a little perspective and in the end made me feel pretty certain about my choice to go through with this. She also told me something interesting that I had completely forgotten about. When I had braces the first time they knew I needed surgery. In fact they had actually asked me if I wanted it done. I had completely forgotten! Why wouldn't I have it done before? Not because I was in school. Not because I was young and young people can be terrible and insensitive to each other. Because I was completely misinformed. See, my older brother also has an open bite but also has a large underbite. So when they explained it to him they said his chin would be pushed back. When they explained it to me they explained it as "you need surgery just like your brother." As mentioned, I don't have a chin to begin with! Why would I want you to push it back more!? Needless to say I didn't want it. Then. But after chatting with Mom I'm rearing to go. And now I get to pay for it.

Boy did I get hornswaggled.